Bone in the Stone © 2005- 2013 KernowJack.com

The Bone in the Stone tells the story of a smart dog and dumb pirates in Cornwall England, land of myth and legend.

D o you know the tale of The Bone in the Stone? pirate skull icon Pirates do but they're not telling YOU! The Scallywags!!!!
The Bone in the Stone, starring Kernow Jack, a dog.  Story, concept, series, film, produced in Cornwall England by Heartland Productions heartlandproduictions.com

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What is the Bone in the Stone? Here is a taste from Kernow Jack.

Bone in the Stone starring Kernow Jack, a dog, and produced by Heartland Productions

LLong ago in days of yor Merlin the magician carried Excalibur deep into the heart of Cornwall to a clearing in an enchanted wood. There he found a moss covered stone of granite and plunged the sword into it proclaiming that no man could draw it out again save the true king of England.

And no man ever did, until young Arthur.  

We have all heard many versions of the story of the Sword in the Stone but pirates know another called the Bone in the Stone.

pirate skull icon

Choughy with his bone
P irates know that Merlin wasn't alone when he went into the woods that day. They know that his faithful little terrier Choughy (Chuffy) was with him, carrying in his teeth his favourite yummy bone.
And they know that at the precise moment Merlin plunged Excalibur into the stone Choughy dropped the bone. Then something miraculous happened, the stone opened up and swallow the bone, leaving only half of it exposed. Choughy tried biting. It was stuck like glue.
What wizard and hound didn't know was that the stone sat atop a mossy hill and the hill sat atop a treasure chest loaded with gold, silver, jewels and ever-fresh turkey treats. The treasure had been stashed there by the ugliest nastiest stinkiest foul-breathiest pirate to ever sail, swim or dog paddle the seven seas - Longtooth (Minty) Greenbile. Greenbile never returned to the treasure because he tripped over his broadsword whilst dancing a polka with his first mate and they both fell overboard and were never seen or heard of again.
ugly nasty stinky foul-breathed pirate Longtooth Yellowbile
evil Morgana the witch
Back in the woods, Merlin and Choughy were fully absorbed in their task. Not only hadn't they seen the treasure, they failed to notice the evil sorceress Morgana lurking in the trees nearby, watching. Her narrowed eyes were on one thing, Excalibur, for she wanted the sword for herself.
Seeing what Merlin had done with it sent her into a rage (which was pretty easy to do).
lightning bolts
In a whirl of flame Morgana rose into the air and blasted the stone to try to dislodge the sword. She shrieked and cursed and spat incantations and threw her most impressive temper tantrum. She fired lightening bolts in all directions, but it had no effect.

Merlin and Choughy, meanwhile, were accustomed to Morgana's tempers and simply yawned and discussed what to have for tea.
Morgana's lightning bolts

When the witch finally ran out of steam and the smoke had cleared she saw that Merlin and Choughy were gone. Her mighty wrath had accomplished little more that off thehalf of Choughy's bone that protruded from the stone.

treeAs they walked home through the forest Merlin noticed some drops of blood running down Choughy's inside back leg. He deduced that when the bone was struck a shard of it had cut Choughy. With a wave of his hand the blood stopped and the wound healed, but it left a small scar in the shape of a half bone Jack dog's half bone on his belly - the half sheared off by Morgana.

Although the scar and bone was of no consequence, not even to Choughy who soon found a new bone, it meant everything to pirates who knew Minty Greenbile had buried his treasure beneath the stone that bone was in. Had the top half remained it would have served as the perfect marker but now it was cleanly broken off and missing. And when Arthur drew Excalibur and took it with him, that part of the woods became overgrown with moss, including the stone, hiding all evidence completely.

To this day many a pirate has blubbered like a baby into his or her grog over the unknown wherabouts of Greenbile's mangnificent lost treasure.

Kernow Jack dog's half bone on his inner thigh


 

Down through the ages pirates have sung ballads of the decendants of Choughy and the half-bone scar carried on their underside. If a decendant could be found then they could lead them to the hidden treasure. But were there any Choughy' s left?


Yellowbile the pirate's treasure chest

Tickling Kernow Jack's tummy and showing the map to the treasure

If you ever notice a pirate tickling the tummy of a hairy hound you'll know that he's likely looking for the 'half bone' scar. There have been sightings over the centuries, and a few of Choughy's ancestors have been spotted, but mostly they've remained elusive, until now.

This is the story of a pair of bumbling down on their luck pirates who meet a very special dog.

As they loiter in a village harbour lamenting they're groaning gullets and empty pockets, a stray ginger and white terrier sidles up and sits down beside them.


The Pirate captain

As is the natural habit of any pirate the captain crouches down and begins tickling the tummy of the pup. As his fingers stroke here and there he notices something very interesting on the dog's inner thigh. He knows immediately what it is.

He begins to tremble, barely able to contain his excitment. “Oi. Cast yer goppers right 'er." He points at the mark. "Wot does ya see?"

The dumber (by a hair) of the two pirates leans over the dog and licks his lips. His stomach growls loudly, his eyes widen as he thinks how tasty the dog would be. "I see vittles a-last." Smarter pirate first mate

"Arrrrg! No idjit!" The captain, cuffs him about the ears.

"We got here is wot every pirate searches for 'is whole salty life."

The swabbie scrambles closer to get a look where the captain is pointing and nearly falls on him and the dog.

"Back off a'fore ya kills the mutt! Now looky thar." He spreads apart the tummy hairs.
"See that half-bone scar? We got ourseves a decendant of Choughy."

"Errr, no no no no, I don't think so Cap'n," says the swabbie, staring at a tag on the dog's collar. He can read as good as any four year old.
"Nope. See right thar. Says 'is name's Kernow Jack not Choughy.”

The captain cuffs his ear again.

Pirate captain takes aim at smarter pirate for being so dumb

"Idjit! It don't matter wot 'is name is now. He's got the scar. That's wot counts. We got the map". (he pulls from his great coat a treasure map of Cornwall. Every pirate since the drawing of the sword has a copy. It's far from difinitive but it's a start and Greenbile left a few clues). "We jus follow the notes on this map and the treasure is ars - all ars."

The captain lovingly scoops the little dog in his arms and stands up unsteadily, knees creaking and popping. He hugs the dog close and talks goo-goo talk to him, promising mountains of steak and kidney pie. He turns to the first mate who is drooling at the thought of all that grub talk.

"Bow to Kernow Jack," the captain orders, solemnly.

The captain and the first mate bend forward towards Kernow Jack and bump heads. But the pain is unfelt for they know the adventure to find the Bone in the Stone has begun......

Kernow Jack the Pirate dog and hairy billboard.  Let Jack advertise your company or product in scenes around Cornwall

Jack dog's half bone on his bellyhe Bone in the Stone © 2005 - 2013 boneinthestone.com
Jack's website kernowjack.com Jack dog's tail wag

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